Severn Sport’s Valentines Day XI

Its the 14th of February which means its Valentines Day! The day of love and sharing it with your other half… If you’re Arsenal or Leicester fans you are obviously at the Emirates.

For those who are bored with their other half already or you lonely singletons who have exhausted their swiping on Tinder despite moving the distance to over 100 miles, we have some light relief in the form of the Severn Sport Valentines Day football team.

So take time out from buying last minute overpriced flowers or trying to make small talk with people on Plenty Of Fish and read this…

Ladies, Get your self a Hearts man

We start with the team name and its quite and easy one… Yes we did it, Hearts. When you think of love and Valentines you think of a thick Scottish accent right?



Firstly its the goalkeeper and they say diamonds are a girls best friend, right? Well if you can’t afford diamonds this Valentines, flowers will have to do and who better to deliver those flowers than former Blackburn, Leicester, Southampton and Wolves goalkeeper, Tim Flowers. He retired in 2003 so should have a decent garden of flowers by now.

Flowers incoming!
Flowers incoming!



As I said above, diamonds are a girls best friend and the cheaper options for diamonds this year is Northampton centre back, Zander Diamond. Cheep as chips at just under £400k he is sure to sparkle at the back!

Another gift that would accompany diamonds very well Roses! The chocolates or the overpriced flower or indeed the in form Spurs left back Danny Rose. Like the flower at Valentines day, being young and English he will also be overpriced. Joining him is Lindsay Rose. The Frenchman, on loan at FC Lorient from Lyon makes up an all Rose bunch defence.

Finally, on the right I am heading to Brighton and English right back, Liam ROSEinor. Yeh clutching at straws but after those first four players I’ve ran out of ideas…

Red... The colour of love!
Red… The colour of love!



To start the midfield we start with a bit of a journey man, Darren AmbROSE. The left midfielder who has bags of experience in the Championship is now playing for Colchester United… The most romantic of places!

In the centre is Slovakian Filip Kiss. The Cardiff man who is on loan at Danish side FK HAUGESUND is valued at £300k, at that price I could kiss you!

His fellow centre midfielder and also priced at £300k is that famous Saudi Arabian midfielder, Waleed MahBOOB. A real motorboat in the centre of the park, will need support.

On the right we the most romantic city on earth, Paris! Paris Cowan-Hall to be exact. The Wycombe right midfielder from London has played for Millwall, Plymouth and Bristol Rovers and will bring some culture to the team.

Ladies please, form a queue...
Ladies please, form a queue…



Now on to our striker force, our forward line, our goalscorer and where better to start than with prolific former Newcastle, Birmingham and Rangers forward Peter LOVEnkrands. The Danish man scored 67 times in 250 games.

Along side him is obviously, AS Monaco forward Vagner Love. If the rest of the team isn’t on form you know this man will step us as love is all you need… I’ll get my coat.

Love is all you need
Love is all you need



On the bench we have England number one, Goalkeeper, Joe Hart. Celtic defender, Efe Ambrose. Trinidad and Tobago defender, Kern Cupid. Retired forward Brian McBride. Ross County’s David Goodwille


Keeping this lot in line is another ladies favourite. If she doesn’t want Diamonds, Flowers or chocolates, get her some Jewels! Paul Jewell is the manager of this epic love team. The former Derby and Ipswich manager will want us to be located in the East but there is only one place we can call home. Ibrox (of chocolates)… What a way to end…

When he gives you the eye.
When he gives you the eye.

Who would make the cut for you? Let us know in the comments below or tweet us @SevernSport.

Thanks for reading, Happy Valentines day!

Matt Yates